A Red Rose
by Naisa
Summary: Once a year, the couple that never could be show their love for each other through a single, blood-red rose. And even now, after all that has happened, Morgana finds that he still cares. One shot, Mergana, contains series 4 spoilers.


_A one-shot based on Merlin and Morgana's relationship, on what it was, what it could have been, and what it is now through a red rose that Morgana gets every Valentine's Day, with some lyrics to finish it off :)_

_I thought of this story the day after Valentine's Day, which was rather annoying, but I hope you like it anyway! :) Beware of slight series 4 spoilers._

_Would love to know what you think so please review! :D_

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><p><span>A Red Rose<span>

When Morgana woke one morning, she immediately knew what day it was. Her bones ached as always from lying on her rough, hard bed in her cold, dark hovel, but Morgana bounced onto her feet as if she was five years old and feeling as fresh as a daisy.

It had been so long now, so much had changed, but perhaps it would still be here. Despite everything, maybe he still cared.

After a few minutes of desperate searching, Morgana found what she was looking for.

Lying on the small wooden table, where she usually did her experiments, plotted and practiced her magic, was a single, blood red rose.

Morgana's face broke out into a huge smile at the sight of the flower. It felt strange, like she hadn't smiled properly in months, as if she'd just discovered a new muscle she never knew she had before and was practicing using it. It was relieving, exhilarating in a way, and filled her with an immense happiness. Yet at the same time, a tear trickled down her pale cheek, and she felt like she was being crushed by a sudden, terrible sadness.

It wasn't a very ancient tradition this, it had only been happening for three years or so, but still it was something that had become very important to Morgana's heart.

It had all started when Morgana was facing one of her 'bad days' a name she gave to the moments where she just felt utterly lost and confused. She was exhausted by her sleepless nights, filled with fear about her slowly increasing powers, and felt a growing hatred towards Uther Pendragon for all his cruel words and thoughts and actions. She could feel her life falling apart. It was because of these things that Morgana had turned to her sister Morgause as she desperately needed answers, hope for the future, and a way to escape. But she hadn't met Morgause yet, she needed a different comforting source.

Sometimes on these days Morgana just kept herself to herself, she felt irritable but didn't have the energy to start arguing with anyone, she wanted her own space to breath and try to think. Today she shut herself away in her empty chambers and sat on her bed, trying to control her rising panic that was building up inside her about everything.

A sudden knock at the door made Morgana jump, she turned around and saw Merlin standing in the doorway, he looked a little shy and embarrassed for disturbing her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt my Lady," he said quickly, seeing the surprised look on Morgana's face that she was no longer alone. "Is this a bad time?"

Morgana shook her head. "No, no, it's fine." She was surprised to feel so relieved to have this servant boy in her company at this dark time. But then she felt her voice starting to crack, and before she could stop herself, she started to cry.

Within seconds Merlin was at her side. "Morgana?" He asked tentatively, "what's the matter?"

Morgana shook her head, trying to smile through the tears to show there was nothing wrong. "I'm fine Merlin, I'm just being a fool, that's all." She said.

Merlin shook his head. "No, you're not being a fool. I've never seen you cry before." He sat down on the bed beside her an put an arm around her. "Tell me what's wrong."

Morgana shook her head. How could she explain to anyone how she was feeling? How could anyone understand what was going through her head? Not even she did. But the fact that Merlin was beside her, suddenly made her feel a lot better. She smiled again, but this time she meant it, and the smile reached her eyes.

"You're a good friend, Merlin." She said, "I'm glad to have you here, with me."

It was hard to explain why Morgana felt so comfortable around this young servant, as if they had been best friends for years, comfortable enough that she was able to rest her head on his shoulder and make her feel better so the silent tears stopped falling.

There were a few minutes of silence, when she and Merlin just sat there together, Merlin's arm around Morgana's shoulders and Morgana's head still on his shoulder. Finally Merlin spoke.

"You shouldn't be sad today you know."

Morgana looked up at him, confused. "Why?"

"Because it's Valentine's Day."

"Oh," Morgana had completely forgotten, despite the fact that it was celebrated in Camelot. It was supposed to be the day that loved ones showed their appreciation, and people confessed who they most cared about through gifts. There was usually banquet in the evening, which most people attended, apart from the King. Despite it being twenty years ago, thoughts about his wife were still too painful for Uther, so he didn't want to join in the celebrations of love.

Despite the day, Morgana shrugged her shoulders. "It doesn't matter," she said lightly. She didn't find the day particularly important, and she had never got anything for Valentine's Day. Sometimes she and Arthur would exchange gifts (when they weren't arguing) to show their love for each other. But it was in a sibling way, she had never got a romantic love token from anyone.

This fact didn't bother Morgana so much, but if she thought about it too much she did begin to feel a little lonely. Merlin on the other hand, seemed shocked when Morgana explained to him she never got much on Valentine's Day. But then a smile grew across his face.

"In which case, my Lady, I have something that may cheer you up. Or rather, you have something."

Morgana watched Merlin curiously as his fingers reached forwards towards her ear, and then suddenly drew back, holding a single, blood red rose.

The sudden appearance of the beautiful flower and Merlin's cheeky grin made Morgana laugh and applaud him. Merlin's smile broadened at this as he handed Morgana the rose.

If there was one time for Morgana to realise that Merlin had magic, this was it. She looked carefully down at the rose, being careful not to prick her fingers on the thorns. It was the most perfect flower she had ever seen and looked as if it had only just been picked. It was such a bright red, with not one mark on its delicate, green leaves. There was no way Merlin would have been able to hide it up his sleeve and it to still be in such good condition. For a moment Morgana wondered if another explanation was needed...but then she brushed it away in an instant. She didn't think such a trusted friend could keep such a huge and dangerous secret.

Morgana looked at the rose closely, still thinking where he could have got such a pretty flower from at this cold time of year, when he spoke again:

"It's beautiful like you."

Morgana looked up at Merlin, surprised. She had not expected such a thing to be said from a servant who always seemed to turn a little shy when she came into the room, or maybe she just thought that because she turned a little shy. She stared at Merlin, trying to form words of how grateful she was for this gift and his kind words, but the silence had lasted too long, and Merlin stood up, assuming that this brief encounter was over, and made his way to the door.

Just before he left, Morgana managed to cry out "thank you Merlin!" And she thought she saw a small smile appear on Merlin's face at this, before he left the room.

After the strange, unexpected wave of happiness that Morgana experienced, she spent the rest of the day in a strange sort of dream, thinking about the wonderful gift and kind words he had said. She spent the rest of the year feeling a little closer to the servant boy Merlin, they would smile shyly at each other when passing in the corridor, but were comfortable in conversation together.

However Morgana thought that the gift she received on Valentine's Day was merely a one off, he was just being kind because she had been feeling sad. Until the same time next year, when she was in her chamber once again and Merlin appeared at the door, a huge grin on her face which she found herself slowly falling in love with. Once again he had a single red rose in his hand, the sight of it for some reason filled Morgana with a strange warmth despite the cold day, and made her laugh. She put it on her bedside table in one of the finest vases Gwen could find, and breathed in its sweet scent when she was drifting to sleep.

The rose didn't keep away her nightmares though, or her powers, and after one terrible night's sleep the vase smashed by its own accord and the rose died within the broken glass. Morgana couldn't understand why this, out of all things, made her feel so devastated.

After that event Morgana and Merlin's relationship began to go downhill even before it could fully blossom into something special. The next year Morgana was not expecting a rose at all. It was just after she had been 'rescued' by Arthur and his men and the thought that Merlin had been the one who poisoned her was still fresh and painful in her mind. Love, however strong it once was or could have been, was slowly turning into hate.

Yet still, on Valentine's Day, Morgana went to her chamber to discover a red rose lying on her desk of draws, just like the ones that she had been given before.

At first Morgana was filled with rage at the thought of this manservant plotting to destroy her plans and trying to kill her yet still leaving her flowers. She wanted to tear the rose up, blood red petal by blood red petal and throw it in the fire.

But she found that she couldn't do it, she didn't want to destroy such a beautiful thing that represented a love that she hadn't felt for so long, a love that she missed deeply. It showed that deep down, Merlin did still care about her, more than their society would allow and more than they would ever confess.

She remembered what Merlin said when he gave her the first rose.

"_It's beautiful like you."_

This rose was just as beautiful, and Morgana knew that he meant it. She kept the rose.

And even now, after another year of relationships crumbling into bitter ashes, after plots to destroy Camelot, take the throne and kill those who were once her friends, Merlin had still risked his own life creeping into Morgana's hovel to leave her a rose.

She picked it up carefully and breathed in its sweet scent. There was a soft _plop_ as one of her tears splashed down onto the petal, but reflected in that tear was her smiling face, because she knew what this rose meant.

It was a sign of a love that should have been lost a long time ago was still there. A single spark that never had the chance to turn into a flame, but it still burned brightly in the embers. It reminded her that while she was forced to go into hiding and that all her friends had become enemies, someone out there still thought she was beautiful. Someone saw the beauty in the beast.

Despite all the magic, the betrayal and the fear, someone still loved her. But it was a love that could never be, because you never realise how the paths of destiny can create such devastation. Morgana wished she could say thank you, she wished she could return the favour, she wished she could say she loved him too. But they were enemies now, so none of this could happen.

Morgana kept the rose as she always did, breathing it its sweet scent and marvelling and its simple beauty, and whenever she looked at it, she was reminded of happy memories she had since clouded with darkness, and that someone out there still cared about her.

It broke her heart though, to know that one day this rose will die and she can no longer fantasise about the things that may once have been.

She will return to her dark, resenting, cruel self, while secretly waiting excitedly for the same time next year, when she hoped that once more she will receive his red rose.

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><p>"Oh, do you care,<br>I still feel for you  
>Oh, so aware,<br>What should be lost is there"

- Nightwish, Beauty of the Beast


End file.
